Monday, March 14, 2016

I Am "That" Mom

I used to be the person that would roll their eyes anytime I heard someone say, "no, my kid can't have refined sugars, gold fish crackers, etc." I saw them as being overbearing and uptight. I would think "that poor kid isn't ever going to get experience blank (filling it in with a variety of terribly unhealthy yet delicious treats)". At the time it just seemed so silly. I'm guilty of casting judgement.

Since having Jackson, I have become "that" mama. I now understand that desire of not wanting to introduce my healthy little boy to the spiral of food and sugar addiction. His body has yet to be introduced to processed food of any kind. I'm his food source and his food is nutrient filled. I think about how pure his body is internally and I cringe at the very thought of all the random ingredients that our pumped into many of the foods I myself have enjoyed for years. I look at him and think about how I have the ability to keep his internal body pure. He doesn't have to be lost into the grip of processed sugar and deal with the constant craving of foods that are serving no real purpose for his body. 

I struggle with food addiction. Sure it's not a drug, but it's a real addiction. It's something that consumes my every thought. It brings out the very worst in me. Through the years I have had complete melt downs over my cravings. These cravings that are never fully satisfied. I'm tired of my battle with my relationship with food. I'm tired of my need for sugar, salt, and fried foods. I'm tired of not be nourished and satisfied.

I don't want to teach Jackson to have my unhealthy relationship with food, my inability to create limits with treats, or to use food as an emotional crutch. I want him to be healthy, nourished, and truly fulfilled. 

Who knows, maybe you're that person too--you know, the one who is passing judgement on the restriction of food I have for my child. Please understand that I'm protecting him from the bad habits I've created in my own life in regards to my relationship with food. I'm saving him from the sometimes unbearable grip that food can have on you, from the fatigue that you feel after binging on treat after treat, from hiding behind food emotionally, and from the pain of never being fully satisfied. 

Yes, I want my child to be happy and to experience the pleasure of delicious food, but I want him to develop the love of foods that aren't just empty modified experiments that are being mass produced in factories of big corporations that are bank rolling on advertisements. I want him to love food because he realizes the importance of what it's doing for his body. I want him to experience the joy of seeing food grow and knowing where it came from. 

I understand that you may be uneasy when I say "no thank you" to cookies and candies his first year of life, but I can promise you that I'm not punishing my child or being "that mom". I'm simply just trying to do what's best for my child. I just want him to have a better relationship with food. I just want him to be well fed, nourished, and satisfied. 

Coming from a previous "that mom", please try to not cast too big of a judgement shadow on me. I'm a mom who is just trying her best.