Saturday, March 19, 2016

Dear Mom, It's Okay To Cry

Go ahead let it out--let the tears flow. Go ahead and cry that big ugly cry, you know which one I'm talking about. The one where mascara is running down your cheeks and your face gets warm and flushed. Do you feel better? I do. Today was hard and that's okay. You aren't defeated.

It has been a rough few days. Whether it's teething or a growth spurt I'm not sure, but what I do know is that it's tough and know matter how hard I try I'm not superwoman. It's okay for me to not know what to do. 

I had a miniature panic attack today. Jackson didn't sleep well last night, he's been fussy all day, he wants to be held and he doesn't want to lay down. I wrap him close to me in his Solly Baby and I attempt to do the dishes with him, but I'm having trouble reaching. He begins to cry. I try to nurse while he's in the wrap, but I can't access my breast. I feel clostraphobic, my chest tightens, I get frustrated at him, but try not to let him see, and finally the tears come--the big ugly tears. Jack comes running to the rescue and I continue to let it out. I needed that cry.

With all that we mamas do in a day--the cleaning, feeding, diapering, lifting, swaddling, cooking, etc. we bottle up our feelings, push our aches and pains aside, we put smiles on our faces, and we finish what needs to be done with little time to breath and reflect. Sometimes we need that cry. We need to come into touch with how we are feeling inside and let everything else around us be exactly where it is. Are you feeling overwhelmed? It's okay to step away from your child(ren) to catch your breath. Are you frustrated? It's okay that you are frustrated. Feel those emotions, recognize why you're feeling it, put them in check, cry if it makes you feel better, and start your day over. Yes, our babies need us, but what our babies need even more is for us to be fully emotionally available to them also. Be completely human and try not to be a robot. Experience everything you feel inside, search your heart daily, and keep doing what you are doing.

Remember, you are amazing, incredible, awesome, loved, cared for, needed, and just as important as your sweet little babes. Take time for yourself, breathe a deep breath, feel joy, feel pain, cry if you must, laugh even more, and remember these days. These are the moments worth remembering.